the good news and the bad news

First, good news! I've got 3 partials out, and today the agent who requested the first of those three emailed back and said she wanted to see more!

(Intermission for Snoopy dancing!)

But (and you knew there was a but, right?) before I send her more, she wants some changes. She said she really liked a lot of stuff, but had some plot issues. Everything she brought up was well reasoned and appropriate. I have no doubts the changes will improve the novel, and I can't express how awesome it was to have someone who is a big agent in Fantasy talking to me about MY novel with the words "there's a lot I like"... I mean, that's going on my wall, right there! But, I'm so nervous about the changes. She was pretty specific about what she wanted, and I think I know how I could do it, but what if I fuck it up? What if I do all this work and she's like "on second thought, no thanks."

Of course, that could happen, but if I don't make the changes, she won't request it at all. She obviously sees something there, or she wouldn't be putting time into asking for changes. Time seems to be an agent's most valuable resource, and if she's willing to invest it in my book, then the least I can do is go at her changes whole heartedly.

Mostly, I'm afraid that I'm going to shoot myself in the foot. I've wanted this for so long, my confidence in my own abilities is shaken, and that won't do at all. After all, it's my story! If anyone can fix it, I can.

All this author nonsense is turning me into an obsessive twitch-case. Believe it or not, I'm NORMALLY very laid back.

who knew I had it in me?

And while the queries for Novel 2 languish under piles of their brethren in lit agent inboxes, I start a new story.

It's something I haven't done before, a love story. Novel 1 had a side romance, but it got lost in THE END OF THE WORLD, which was slightly more pressing at the time. Novel 2 had no romance at all - not even so much as a weighted moment or longing glance. I've tried to write love stories before, but they always putter out. I thought it was because I'm not a romantic at heart, and I don't find love stories to be interesting in and of themselves. But then I look at my obsessive shipping of certain couples, and I realize that's bollocks. I just hadn't found the right story yet.

Around Christmas, the right story found me. Wonked me upside the head and broke open like a plot piñata, more accurately. All the candy scenes landed in more or less the right order, and I knew, I KNEW I had to write this. I knew it would take a lot longer than anything I'd done before, and I knew it would be a total bitch to write, yet I'm certain, if I can find that timbre I'm looking for, this will be the best thing I've ever done.

A week later and I'm 7000 words in, 5000 of which were written last weekend in a fit of joy I've never experienced in my writing before. I know it won't last. This novel, like every novel, will hit a rock, or a whole mountain range, and there will be issues, days when I loathe it, but, for this moment, I adore every the story with a passion I didn't think I had in me, and it's such a wonderful, strange, beautiful feeling.

At a time in my life when I spend 23 of my 24 hours obsessing over publication, a moment of writing just for the sheer joy of it is worth more than words could say. This is why I write. Sometimes it takes a sound thrashing to get me to remember of that.

I hate synopsisesessses

I also hate the word "synopsis," moving on.

By the end of December, I finally got a query I was pretty happy with, but, after days of trying, no synopsis worth a damn. So I queried agents that didn't require a synopsis (a temporary solution), and, lo and behold, I get 2 partial requests (YAY!), both of which wanted a synopsis (BOO!). So I sat down and wrote one in a night, and it's horrible as I knew it would be, but it works. I wrote a much funnier, wittier one, but it was seven pages long. My rule of thumb is that you can go on for as long as you're entertaining, but that no one is as entertaining as they think they are, so keep it short. Seven pages, while entertaining (to me, at least), was not short. So I chopped it and made a 3 page version, which is terrible, but might just get the job done.

This let me query a whole glut of new agents. Right now I've sent queries to about 1/2 the people on my agent list. If they all say no, I guess I'll just go find some publishers who take unagented submissions. This feels like horrible failure to me, but I really love this book. I love the characters so much, I couldn't stand sticking them in the drawer. So I'll keep trying, for their sake if not mine.

But we've only had 3 rejections to date, so there's still plenty more to go!

Right on schedule!

Queries are out!

UPDATE - 1/8
One more rejection, one more query out!

Queries sent: 14
Rejections: 4
Partials: 2

Moving along with Novel 3. Stop hovering, Rachel, and write your damn book.

I must never allow myself to become despondent

I must never allow myself to despair. I must never allow myself to quit. I must keep going, even when it seems not worth the effort. I must never give up.

Remember this feeling, the hand rising to wipe the dirt off your chin, sore muscles sliding under skin as you pick yourself up. This is the distilled essence of being human. Never shy away, never stay down. Never let it go.

Done with the second edit

I got Aaron's, Matt's, Andrea's, Krystina's, and Trav's back. You guys did an AWESOME job and I could not have done it without you. So thank you, if you're reading.

So we had the initial writing, which was about 55k, the edit, which clocked in at 70k, and this second edit, which hits at 75k. It could probably benefit from one more go through, but I worry I wouldn't survive, so I'm closing the book on this and moving on.

Now, all that's left is write a GOOD query letter (anything but that schlock I have now) and a good synopsis, and I'm ready to query. Finally.

Revision notes - Day 2

Or whatever. Re-did the Nico fight, think it's much better.

Next up, cutting Renaud's enslavement bit and moving straight to him with the water. Be sure anything important gets moved somewhere else. Over all much better flow. It will need one more read-through before send off, but you can do that at the end of the real third revision.

Onward!

Revision notes - Day 1

Well, actually day 2.5. I've written out my descriptions and started in on the ending. So far, I've fixed the scene where Karon knocks down the doors, smoothed out the Josef fight. This morning, I completely redid Renaud's speech explaining what the pillar was, and I think it's much better, much less info-dumpy. I also took out the blood magic thing, I can save that for another book or add it in a lesser capacity for this one later. I also had Renaud go into the pillar, which solves the whole "where is Renaud during all of this?" question AND is super creepy. This changes a lot of stuff down the road, but I think it'll all work out for the better. This climax has to flow properly, or there's no fun at all.

Next up: Battle of lava and sewage, then Nico. Don't forget to keep an eye on the ACTUAL text edits now that you're not writing new stuff.

My read through is done!

And MAN, do I have a lot to do:

1. Go setting by setting and character and write out general descriptions to use in the edit. That way, all my descriptions will be uniform. This is especially important for interior settings.
2. Edit the ending and make all noted changes. This is the most broken part, so do it first.
3. Start at the beginning and start making the edits. Do a chapter a day, each in its own document before adding it to the final file. Don't skimp on this, and don't forget to edit the ending again (this should be done mid December, DO NOT rush on this, you need the best book you can write).
4. Give fresh edit to Matt and Trav to go over.
5. Start querying!

right on schedule!

And I'm done (well, finished anyway) with the first go through right on schedule. Two months exactly, even with all the nonsense. Today, I will send the draft to the printers and then hand it out. Maybe... MAYBE they'll have it back to me on time.

In the meanwhile, my task is to

1. Do all the crap at work I've been ignoring -_-...
2. Write a query letter!
3. Write a synopsis!
4. Sit on both (seriously, you only get one shot, don't jump the gun)
5. Do all that map making and world building and what not for the next Eli novel.
6. Do all that map making and world building and what not for the next OTHER novel.
7. Don't obsess.

Now, off to get things done!