My Problem With Titles

Last week I finished a new book I'm very, very excited about. It's not an Eli book, but the first book in what I hope will be a new series that, quite frankly, is about nine million miles away from anything I've written before. I call it my abusive boyfriend book, because I gave up on it 3 times while I was writing because I thought things would never work, but in the end, I never could quit it. I always came crawling back, and eventually, by blood, sweat, and keyboard pounding, I finished that sucker.

But unlike an actual abusive relationship, this one had a happy ending. I'm so glad I stuck with it and finished things, because this book feels like a breakthrough for me, writing-wise. Unfortunately, though, as different as this book is from everything else I've written, one of my career long persistent writing problems remains - I have no idea what to call the thing.

This is my eternal problem. See, I have tons of titles and tons of books, but none of them ever seem to be able to match up. Without fail, any novel I finish lacks a name. The Spirit Thief was just The Eli Book until it was time to query agents and I had to call it something. Same with another new book I just sold (but can't talk about yet, sadness). This book is currently The Lola Book (sensing a pattern?).

I'd been casually messing around with possible names for months, but now that the book is done, I've started seriously searching. I have a long list of possibilities already, but nothing sounds right. I can't even explain what I'm looking for, but I'll know it when I find it. And as soon as Google learns how to search for that, they'll have world domination in the bag.

In case you're wondering, this is how I pick titles:
Step 1 - Think of something cool.
Step 2 - Look it up on Amazon, if a book in my genre that came out in the last 5 years (or is super famous) already has this title, go back to Step 1. If title is free, go on to Step 3.
Step 3 - Look it up on Google. If title is already a band name/album name/linked to some tragic affiliation, go back to Step 1. Otherwise, proceed to Step 4.
Step 4 - Yay! A title!

Of course, I can name the book whatever I want, but in the end it's the publisher, not the author, who decides the final title. This is why a title isn't as big a deal as you might think it is, though, if you have an amazing title (Current favorites: Never Knew Another, I Shall Wear Midnight, All The King's Men, John Dies At The End), that can do amazing things. Even so, I like my books to have names. Good names, the sort I can send them out into public with. Shoving a book off into the world wearing nothing but "The {main character name} Book" just feels irresponsible.

But this book, though, this one is special. After all the trouble this little bastard put me through, I don't just want to find it a name, I want to find it a great name. A name that grabs you and won't let you go until you pick up the book to see what it's about. I want a name that sums up everything this book is about in one beautiful phrase...

But that's in my ideal world. Right now, I'd settle for something other than "The Lola Book." I feel like a mom with a tired kid at a department store. "We're buying the first thing that fits, and then we're going home. Don't like it? Well, if you'd told me your name at the beginning, we wouldn't be in this situation, would we, book?"

And book just glares at me with its black and white glare until I give in and go home, nothing purchased. Going to be one of those nights, isn't it, book?